I think it's "okay you don't want to engage," deleted past tweets. I deleted this tweet expressing concern because a plausible alternative — "you don't want to engage" — has emerged. It appeared civil discourse in the WH briefing room had broken down. Thankfully not. It sounded so much like "lying bitch," but I slowed it down and she clearly says, "you don't want to engage," so I deleted the original tweet.
The official White House transcript has the quote correct. I didn't have to rack my brain figuring out how to hedge it, spin it, massage it. Nice touch, I decide; helps take the edge off. She's got a thick skin. She'll be okay. And I'll tell you this: I'll never get a damn gift certificate from her again. I still tell plenty of lies every day, but by the end of the week I've slashed the total by at least 40 percent.
Still, the giddiness is wearing off. A life of radical honesty is filled with a hundred confrontations every day. Small, but they're relentless. My wife tells me a story about switching operating systems on her computer. In the middle, I have to go help our son with something, then forget to come back.
It would have been a lot easier to have kept my mouth closed and listened to her. It reminds me of an issue I raised with Blanton: Why make waves? Why should I hurt her feelings that 10 percent of the time? Why not just wait until that phase passes and I return to the true feeling, which is that I love her? Okay, he's right. It's manipulative and patronizing to shut up and listen. But it's exhausting not to. One other thing is also becoming apparent: There's a fine line between radical honesty and creepiness.
Or actually no line at all. It's simple logic: Men think about sex every three minutes, as the scientists at Redbook remind us. If you speak whatever's on your mind, you'll be talking about sex every three minutes.
There's a fine line between radical honesty and creepiness. I have a business breakfast with an editor from Rachael Ray's magazine. As we're sitting together, I tell her that I remember what she wore the first time we met -- a black shirt that revealed her shoulders in a provocative way. I say that I'd try to sleep with her if I were single. I confess to her that I just attempted unsuccessfully to look down her shirt during breakfast. The thing is, the separate cubbyholes of my personality are merging.
Usually, there's a professional self, a home self, a friend self, a with-the-guys self. Now, it's one big improper mess. This woman and I have either taken a step forward in our relationship, or she'll never return my calls again. When I get home, I keep the momentum going.
I call a friend to say that I fantasize about his wife. He says he likes my wife, too, and suggests a key party. I inform our twenty-seven-year-old nanny that "if my wife left me, I would ask you out on a date, because I think you are stunning. It was just on my mind. Now I've made my own skin crawl. I feel like I should just buy a trench coat and start lurking around subway platforms.
Blanton says he doesn't believe sex talk in the workplace counts as sexual harassment -- it's tight-assed society's fault if people can't handle the truth -- but my nanny confession just feels like pure abuse of power. All this lasciviousness might be more palatable if I were a single man.
It's a brilliant strategy. The antithesis of mind games. Transparent mating. And according to Blanton, it's effective. He tells me about a woman he once met on a Paris subway and asked out for tea. When they sat down, he said, "I didn't really want any tea; I was just trying to figure out a way to delay you so I could talk to you for a while, because I want to go to bed with you. Or another seduction technique of his: "Wanna fuck? I lied today. A retired man from New Hampshire -- a friend of a friend -- wrote some poems and sent them to me.
His wife just died, and he's taken up poetry. He just wanted someone in publishing to read his work. A professional opinion. I read them. I didn't like them much, but I wrote to him that I thought they were very good.
So I e-mail Blanton for the first time since our meeting and confess what I did. I write, "His wife just died, he doesn't have friends. He's kind of pathetic. I read his stuff, or skimmed it actually. I didn't like it. I thought it was boring and badly written. So I e-mailed a lie.
I said I really like the poems and hope they get published. He wrote me back so excited and how it made his week and how he was about to give up on them but my e-mail gave him the stamina to keep trying. He responds curtly. I need to come to his eight-day workshop to "even begin to get what [Radical Honesty] is about.
Meet in person? Did he toss down so many bourbons I vanished from his memory? I tell him we did meet. Blanton writes back testily that he remembers.
His only advice on my quandary: "Send the man the e-mail you sent me about lying to him and ask him to call you when he gets it In his book, Radical Honesty, Blanton advises us to start sentences with the words "I resent you for" or "I appreciate you for.
You were friendly and engaging and encouraging when we met. Now you seem to have turned judgmental and tough. I resent you for giving me the advice to break that old man's heart by telling him that his poems suck. Blanton responds quickly.
First, he doesn't like that I expressed my resentment by e-mail. I should have come to see him. Second, he tells me that telling the old man the truth would be compassionate, showing the "authentic caring underneath your usual intellectual bullshit and overvaluing of your critical judgment. A sudden increase in scratching by your spouse during a conversation can indicate lying. This is sometimes an indication of heightened nervousness.
The scratching may occur anywhere on the body. Watch your spouse for fidgeting. This is a common indicator of lying. Your spouse may fidget in place, shift her feet, touch her face, or rub objects around her. She may also become suddenly very still. If your spouse is concentrating on her lie, this takes more energy and focus than telling the truth, which may cause movement to cease or be suppressed.
Glance at your spouse's swallowing behavior. If your spouse is swallowing in gulps or drinking a lot he may be lying. Changes in saliva production can be a biological response to lying. The saliva change can be an over-production which will result in excessive swallowing or gulping. The change can be an under-production, which would result in more drinking. Watch for combinations of these signs.
One of these behaviors alone does not mean your spouse is lying. Instead, watch for clusters of these signs. If she is fidgeting and avoiding eye contact, and you pick up some verbal cues as well, that is a better indication of dishonesty than only one of the behaviors. Method 2 of Catch the inconsistencies. This is the most basic verbal method for telling if your spouse is lying. Try to use logic. If a person hears an unexpected loud noise, then he will look towards it.
So if he says they ran away without looking at all—he is probably lying. That would be an inconsistency. Ask an unexpected question. You want to catch her by asking her something that is now impossible or embarrassing because of her dishonesty.
Ask for details. Notice if you get too much detail or rambling from your spouse. If your spouse is in an uncomfortable situation, or one he feels guilty about, he may have over-thought how he will get out of it. A lying spouse may ramble on and on about what he was doing, where he was, and who he was with if he put a lot of care into the lie to cover his tracks.
Listen for unease. This can manifest as hesitation in the voice. This may be a sign of anxiety from your spouse for lying. If there are a lot of pauses in the speech patterns of your spouse then this can be an indicator of lying.
Um… with my friend Jane. Talk to a witness. One way to catch your spouse in a lie is to find someone else to contradict his version of events. You need to be careful with this method as the witness is also capable of lying or being inaccurate. It may be helpful to talk to multiple witnesses to get more consistency in an answer. If you ask only one co-worker then she may say your spouse was there—but could be covering for him. However, if two or more co-workers all say your spouse was there, then this is most likely true.
For example you may ask your spouse if he was at work during business hours like he claimed to be. I want to have a store or a line of clothing in a store. I want to live in Texas but also to travel and be happy in the world and with all my close friends and family who support me! If he feels good about something, then I do too.
The time came, and I was so nervous wondering if one or two people would come. As we went up the escalator, I saw many smiling fans at the top waiting — for me! It turned out that over 60 girls came to meet me!
And with their family members the security staff had to form a line! Fans brought handmade cards and gifts for me. It took over an hour to meet everyone! I was 10 years old at the time.Oct 31, · If you’re trying to be more honest, don’t attempt to flip a switch and stop lying entirely from that point forward. Sure, it might sound like a .